As of today, I have been married for five years. That’s over 1/6th of my life. Other than school, playing the trumpet, and taking daily medication for ADHD, I haven’t really done anything else as long as I’ve done marriage. 

But don’t take that as a brag – this achievement is totally not because of my doing. For this, I can only thank my partner in this 60-month escapade – Morgan. 

Everything brilliant and lovely about my life has her fingerprints on it, from our daughter Clarke to the breathtaking things we’ve seen in places like Banff, Maui, and Florence, through to the rollercoaster that was being a first-year teacher. Morgan is everything to me because everything I am has been drastically shaped by God divinely bringing her into my life.

While yes, it’s wild to me that we’ve already eclipsed a half-decade of matrimony, what’s wilder is looking back at everything that has filled those five years.  

Year 1 | Immediate Bliss

Morgan and my’s dating life was marked by distance. While we met and began dating while at school together at OU, I graduated and moved back home to Dallas just under one month after officially dating (though it should be said I asked Morgan to be my girlfriend a whole month even before that – but she resisted and I’ll never let her forget it). Because of that, we spent the large majority of our time dating and being engaged with at least 180 miles between us. 

So you can imagine our joy when, after being married and moving in together in Rockwall, we were finally near each other with every tearful Sunday afternoon goodbye and every frustratingly insufficient FaceTime kiss in the past. 

However, like all first years of marriage, it was also marked by a constant reckoning of just how selfish we each were – and me more than Morgan. We certainly owe a debt of gratitude to Tim and Kathy Keller’s “Meaning of Marriage” for providing timely wise counsel and a roadmap of how to forge a path ahead toward a more prosperous future together. 

Year 2 | Discovering Deeper Love

Completely akin to most endeavors, the second time around proved less difficult than the first for our marriage. We were getting more used to dealing with the magnifying glass that marriage trains on your own depravity, running away from those conflicts less and actually digging in so real growth could happen. 
Obviously, this was none of our doing. In our second year of marriage, Morgan and I had finally found a true church home together – Citizens. Between getting involved in serving in the elementary ministry, attending regular Bible studies, and joining a tremendous Home Group, it’s no surprise that our marriage began to see glimpses of flourishing as our spiritual lives did the same. 

In a lot of ways, this may have actually made our marriage appear to look more embattled from the outside, but the reality was that we were entering into more difficult conversations, getting better at accepting fault and more fervently seeking true forgiveness from the other. 

Year 3 | Two Ends of a Kitchen Table

That’s it. We just spent our entire third year of marriage (and then some) at the two ends of our kitchen table.*

*It may be worth noting that we celebrated our second anniversary and the beginning of year three of marriage just days after the Coronavirus Pandemic shut down the world. 

Okay, that’s not actually it. Year three was actually my favorite year before year four came along (more on that later) precisely because of how it was impacted by the pandemic. For one, we were fortunate to not contract Covid. Additionally, we were blessed with wonderful health for all of our friends and family (and I truly lament and express my condolences for anyone whose story here differs). But most of all, we literally sat three feet apart, facing each other, from 8:00 am to 4:30 pm Monday through Friday. 

Oh, and then we also spent every other hour that wasn’t spent working remotely together as well. And here’s the craziest part – we literally did not get tired of each other. Listen, I’m not too naive to recognize that you will get tired of your spouse plenty of times throughout the course of a marriage. But to be struck together in an apartment (and our subsequent first home) every single day for over 18 months and yet only find yourself loving your spouse more deeply than before? That is still arguably the thing about our five-year run that astonishes me the most. 

Year 4 | The Last Days of “Us”

Doesn’t the title for this section sound really dramatic? It sounds like a Hulu Original Series.

Anyways, after making it through the bulk of the pandemic, our fourth year was marked largely by lessons in patience and change. On one hand, I was in the midst of solidifying my unreal choice to forget my 5-year career in marketing and advertising and instead move into teaching. Teaching 8th-graders, at that. On the other hand, Morgan and I found ourselves waiting – waiting for a child we so badly wanted. 

I could go on for a while about how wonderfully supportive and flexible Morgan was with my career change. It would, after all, lock her in as the official bringer-home-of-the-bacon as she was continuing to shoot up the rungs of her supply chain and logistics career ladder. But, I’d rather spend more time on the second cornerstone theme of our fourth year of marriage. 

I’ll start with this: Surprising to most perhaps, it was the husband, not the wife, who was most eager to begin a family. I’ve wanted to have three kids for as long as I can remember. Morgan, however, was really struggling with the idea of “us” not just being “you and me” anymore. Understandably so, we had just experienced over a year of hardcore “together” time because of the pandemic and the idea of giving that up in favor of a family wasn’t nearly as cut-and-dry anymore. 

Despite that, we eventually started trying to have a baby in September 2020 after we’d bought a house and adopted a dog, Binks, in the months prior. Thinking the process was simple and concrete, we waited with anticipation each month as we looked for the signs that we had conceived – yet the months started to add up. As we entered our fourth year of marriage, my patience was waning as it had now been over seven months yet we had no news to share. 

My constant refrain through this time was to remember that we aren’t owed anything. Every good and perfect gift comes from above, but that’s just what they are – gifts – not rights or deeds. Still, I found myself getting less and less excited about the monthly routine of trying and then playing the waiting game. I began assuming there would be no progress because if you have no hopes to begin with, they can’t be dashed. I started wondering whether or not sin in my life was causing us this infertility struggle – an idea that I know is blasphemous yet still found myself pondering on. 

But, I was reminded by a good and faithful friend that for Morgan and me, there would be a day when we would talk about our battle with infertility in the past tense. I believed that. I really did. But I also spent plenty of time that I shouldn’t have listening to the enemy saying otherwise. 

Thankfully, in September of 2021 – nearly one year since we had started trying and just days before a doctor’s appointment to explore other fertility options, Morgan was pregnant. 

Year 5 | Just the Best Year Ever

Ah, my favorite year. The year of Clarke Emma. 

Less than two months after celebrating our fourth anniversary, and after 50 hours of waiting in the delivery room, our little girl was here. And in doing so kicked off the most fun and joyful year for Morgan and me yet. 

We are really good at parenting Clarke is a really good baby.

I mean, she has made our fifth year so enjoyable because it seems like we only have to deal with the fun parts of having a child. It has also highlighted what I always say is my favorite part of being married to Morgan – we are a tremendous team. It’s probably a Jordan-Pippen dynamic, with her obviously being the superstar and me playing a consistent, supporting role, but we’re still championship-caliber nonetheless. 

Regardless of the situation or the circumstance, this entire five-year run has simply been my favorite endeavor. I’ve never experienced so much growth, laughter, love, or belonging in my life. And again, to that, I owe Morgan all the credit. So, it makes sense that I end this entirely-too-long manifesto with something just for her. 

Morgan, 

What a treasure you are to me. Being able to spend my days with you is and always will be the preeminent source of joy in my life. You have never once failed to bring me comfort when I’m uncomfortable, confidence when my own is lacking, hope when I feel despair, or laughter when all I can do is frown. 

I often find myself thinking about what it’ll be like in the future – in 20, 30, 40 years – when I’ll be able to look back on our time together and just marvel at the journey we’ve taken. 

I know that I’m still learning how to lead you and our family well. I know that I’m still figuring out what to do with my frustrations in moments of anger. I know that I’m still working to understand just how difficult it is to put one’s spouse before themselves. But during all of that time, I know you’ll continue to stand by me, and when I remember that, suddenly none of that growth process fails to excite and entice me. 

I love you endlessly and that love is only stronger today than it was on that Spring Oklahoma day five years ago. 

Happy anniversary, Mo. I love you.